The Day the World Went Out to Get Some Ice Cream

The last few months of last year have been full of trials, to say the least.  That it took me a few months since my last substantial blog post speaks volumes in itself.  I seem to have to overburdened myself with work, both in the office and in church, while still managing to accomplish as little as possible in the process.  In doing so I lost sight of what matters.  I lost control somewhere along the road, allowing certain aspects of my once so rigidly-controlled life to slip out of my hands.  It’s as if I popped out of the driver’s seat to get some ice cream in the middle of rush-hour traffic in EDSA, only to return and find that the stoplight turned green in my absence.

The good thing in all of this is that I still come out the better despite the many trials, and failures, of that year.  I feel that have grown to better accept myself as I truly am.  More conscious of my shortcomings and more willing to admit them.  A side effect of this new found self-awareness is that I seem to be able to get along with others better.  I forgot where I read it, but someone once wrote that those who are the best at empathizing with others are also the most self-aware.  Conversely, show me a person who can’t understand others and I’ll show you a hypocrite.  You’re looking at him…  That is to say, my rose-tinted glasses have become a little more clearer, and I feel that I am better able to see myself as the flawed person that I am.

In fact, it seems that the more I grow, the more I realize that I have a lot to change.  Indeed, this is what the Lord intends for us all.  To realize how desperately in need we are of Him.  I bet this was all in His plan for me after all.  A bet which I undoubtedly win thanks to God’s omniscience and timelessness.  As a recovering, self-confessed control-freak, I found it very disconcerting that I let myself go in such a manner.

Still, the Lord reminds me always of His power over me and His unwillingness to give up on such a hopeless case.  Resistance is futile.  The only options I have right now are to change for the better, or to continue spiraling uncontrollably towards the entropy of a life in disarray.  I can only hope this year will find me closer to Him and more yielding to His inexorable, life-changing Will.

My Time of day

I don’t usually do blog quizzes, but this one caught my eye. And I think the results really fit…

Update 2008-03-08: Whoops, forgot to include this snippet from the site (buti pa dito sa Blogger, may indent agad sa toolbar):

Your time of day has a split personality — sometimes it’s sweat-streaked and
loud, and you’re on the dance floor, getting your third wind, and shouting
lyrics like you’ll never run out of energy. You are the time of night that
carves itself into your memory forever, because you’ll never forget how much you
love these people and this moment and this song. It’s not always about
unforgettable parties, though. Sometimes your late night (err? early morning)
burst of energy happens when you’re home alone. Those are the times when you
say, “I flat out refuse to go to sleep until I finish reading this book, or
typing this page, or reorganizing my entire closet.” In either case, you are the
time of night when it feels sort of forbidden to be awake, but you love
accomplishing something special long after everyone else went to bed. And hey —
you can always catch up on sleep tomorrow, right?

Apparently I share the same results as 11% of the takers. Took me a couple of times to get similar results too. The other time I was 11 am or something. Basta, tamad, yun!

Yep, around this unholy time of day I usually find myself wrenching my eyes away from the computer screen/a good book to check the time. After which I mutter to myself “just a few more minutes… just let me finish this chapter… just let me get this function done… just until the next save point…” Hahaha!

One of my fondest wishes is for the discovery of a cure for sleepiness. No wait, they already have that. Rather, the cure for the need to sleep, hehe. If only I can make the day last longer. If only I could move faster. Well, my relentless drive to cram more things into a day will probably lead to my demise someday I’m sure. I know that it’s practically contradictory to the Lord’s command to Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). It’s really a struggle for me to slow down, slack off, sit in silence and just enjoy the moments as they pass. But when I’m forced to relax, like when I get sick, I always find the experience restful and feel immediately rejuvinated.

The funny thing is that I always procrastinate. I guess that’s just me dragging my feet before moving on to the next activity. Once I’m locked in to one activity that I enjoy doing, I find it hard to draw my attention away and move on to the next task on the list. Be it sleeping or bug fixing. Even though the thing on my list could possibly be more urgent or rewarding. Ahh well…

Time Management

Originally posted on April 23rd, 2007 on my WordPress blog.



It’s been really crazy these last few months. I haven’t had enough time to clear my mind and reflect. Barely have I completed one task before I move on to the next. I know that its not that I don’t have enough time. Everyone on this planet is given the same 24 hour day, but I somehow don’t finish everything I set out to do. It only means one thing: poor time management.



I guess its all the switching between different tasks. Some overhead is involved when switching between one task to another. Especially when the jump is between stuff on totally different areas of interest and in varying stages of completion. Knowing that, why do I jump between tasks? It’s not that I have a short attention span. At least I don’t think so. I can spend hours reading a book, be it for leisure or otherwise (a considerably longer time for leisure of course). The same goes for work. I don’t mind sitting for hours on a swivel chair staring blankly at the computer screen, heh. I think the biggest problem is fear. Yes, that’s right, fear. Fear to start something, fear to move on to the next step. I spend so much time researching my next move in any task, that I end up wasting time that I should have been using actually taking it. When I finally get through one task, I often find myself thinking, “that wasn’t so bad.” But only after. The whole time I’m planning to do something, I always get stuck up thinking about negatives. What might go wrong… What an enormous amount of work… I shouldn’t be doing this until… I could do this instead… Essentially, its procrastination. Procrastination born out of foolish hesitation.





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